Awww, Crap. Carp.

"I demand equal time for a rebuttal"

Yes, Asia you have given us oh so much; movable type, paper, the mirror, gunpowder, and the innovative way of conjuring fantastic food combination’s by simply providing a number — (#33, Chicken and Broccoli in garlic sauce), but this latest little thing you’ve given us…Well, thanks for nothin’.

Little Bastards

That’s right.  I just wrote that, and I stand behind it no matter even if these little destructive creatures are from a “legitimate”  spawn resulting in a fry born out of love.  I could call them things that would make a sailor blush, but, for this blog — I’m going with “Little Bastards.”  It’s rough, but, this is a serious problem.

Evil, I name thee “Hypophthalmichthys nobilis” and “Hypophthalmichthys molitrix.

(And now, my tongue must rest. )

It’s much easier to call them Bigheaded Carp and Silver Carp.  The difference, one jumps (the silver) and the other doesn’t (the bigheaded.)  There are other differences, but I’m not about science and facts and accuracies…I’m moving on pure emotion.  My knee is jerked and this is my reaction.

Kill them fishies.  Kill them all.

The Fisherman’s Version of Mailbox Baseball.

I think it was earlier this year when there was a photo in the newspaper of a man dangling off the side of a friends motorboat with a baseball bat.  Nope, it wasn’t an attempt to one-up water polo with a version of water baseball — this was about going Louisville Slugger on the jumping silver carp.

“oooh, poor fishy, poor little fishy…it’s so cruel…”

True, I wouldn’t want to go that way, but then again, I’m not swimming through freshwater lakes destroying everything it its path.  It’s not like we humans go around destroying…ummm…anyway, this is about the fish.

Mrs. O’Leary’s Canal

How can these Asian Carp access the Great Lakes?  One of the ways is via the Chicago River.  They have tried stopping these suckers by creating electrified fences in the water, but it hasn’t done much, except create a ambient buzz that confuses mosquitoes.  The will is there, but the actions are seemingly futile.  That’s because, I don’t think enough is really being done.  Scientists, Government, Agencies of this and that just line up around the Carp table waiting for a winning roll that results in nature, not humanity taking care of this problem the fish swim on.

Maybe, Maybe Not.

Not the best way to look at a situation that jeopardizes the health and industry of the Great Lakes.  We don’t want them to become the “Mediocre Lakes.”  If these Carp “take over” certain fisheries will suffer, while others may be unaffected.  It could be bad, it could be fine.  It could be today, it could be three years from now.  For a great article, on this situation, I suggest Dr. Willink’s Q&A about Asian Carp in Chicago.  He provides facts, while I provide a brief burst of comic rage.

A Slippery Slope

I just worry that we’ve angered another part of our eco-system.  We’ve seen what stabbing a shank in the Gulf of Mexico has resulted in.  That’s an angry wound that needed medical attention much sooner by quality doctors.  We can’t even bandage it, let alone stop the bleeding.

As far as this fish thing is concerned…I think it’s time we “Carpe Carp.”

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